On my previous blogs, I mentioned that I like someone! And Last Friday, March 11, 2016- I dreamed about him! For the first time with his face clear! I like kpop since 2011 and I can’t recall any circumstances that I dream about Donghae, Luhan, Kris or GD. Maybe, Luhan but I really can’t remember. But for the first time, I dreamed someone that I like, This. Man. In my dream, I’m trying to fake I’m drifting asleep so that he will help me get a better sleeping position, and he’s there asking me if I’m ok and suddenly my father is waking me up because it’s already 10am and I was like…err, Papay, my work is 4pm! I tried to sleep again hoping for the continuation but heol, cut!! I’m imagining that the Lord is saying, “That’s all for now my daughter”! I felt happy, sad, confused, I don’t want to fear..but there is a small fear creeping inside of me.
I felt sad because why I am faking it in my dreams. I prayed, Lord I don’t want to be a fake person. I wanted to be real so when there’s any falseness in my heart, I ask you to remove it. I wanted a heart that’s like you! A heart the love you, and love you’re people genuinely! I wanted to love my other half wholeheartedly next to you” This dreams, reminds me to search my heart and with the help of the Lord I want to be a real and blameless person.
When I become a Christian, one of the things that my leader ask me to do is to list down all the qualities that I like for my future husband and then pray for it. The Lord hears prayer and when you know you’re the son/daughter of the Lord, you can ask anything from your father. Ask and you will receive. Besides, listing your ideal guy will actually protect you. You like someone but when you see he’s not on your list, then he’s not from God. Will your father give you salt when you’re asking for a honey? Certainly not! You can cut down the feeling because he’s not the one you’re asking from the Lord. So, I made one and look at the dates, it’s almost 1 and 4 months now. I’m posting some parts. Don’t laugh, I called the Lord Daddy that time.:D But now, I to call him Father God/Lord to show my respect. This is actually the first time that I’m posting it. Hah~ nobody see it:D Not even my leader even though she express an interest to see it! But eventually, I will show it to her!
Here, I listed how he should look like (Luhan and Kris is still my universe at this time so apologize if I base this to them). But ideally, you should not have any person in mind when doing your list. Also, get the guidance of the Lord! It is important that your ideal is his ideal. Except for the tattoo, I will still list the same even without Kris and Luhan in my mind! Not too tall, fair in complexion, with beautiful eyes and nose, love music..etc. The reason that I can’t eliminate this person that I like is he look exactly like this (except, that I didn’t know yet if he has tattoos or if he likes music, I have yet to find out). On the first part of the list that was not captured in the first picture, I wrote, “He should be the person who love You first”. Right now, I saw him as faithful and and has a heart of a servant. How deep? I have yet to find out when given a chance!
The most interesting part is this.
“When he’s coming, please give me a sign. Let him appear in my dreams.” And I dream of this man and I was like, Lord what’s the meaning of this? He didn’t even notice me and you let him appear on my dreams despite that you know that I like him? That’s why I said I’m confused, and there’s a little fear in my heart! What if the next time I’ll post, is of him getting married with someone else. It’s not that I don’t trust the Lord. This time, I could say that I fear him…it’s true. The more you know God, the more you will love and trust him but also, the more you will fear him. So if someone tells you he love the Lord, yet didn’t fear him, who is the lord that he loved that he didn’t know what he’s capable of? I pray, that wherever this is heading, my Faith will be Greater than my fear! To Him always the praise and glory.
Before I end, let me just tell this quick story. I attended the prayer meeting yesterday. I was setting on the center part 3rd row and suddenly, he enter on the row and sit 3rd next to mine. Thanks to his companion who sit in between us but why he has to be in between us?? Kidding.;D A while ago in the class, I was setting on the far end of the first row (I learned billionaires always sit on the front!:D) and he’s setting on the center of second row. My friend told me, we’re like outcast here, let’s move on the center, so he is behind me but the sad part he has company of two girls and I was like, who’s those girls?? *sigh* Sometimes, I felt like I’m watching my own story wondering what will happen in the next chapter.
What’s next then?