When the pain won’t go away…


I’ve been off from net since Luhan’s lawsuit. I guess I need some time and by then I will be alright but now that I watch again the videos that was made for him, I’m crying again. Seriously, when can I moved on? When can I watch his videos without getting hurt. The pain that I felt when Kris left was so great and too sudden but Luhan was slow and painful! On Kris, we were shock cause we never expected it, or maybe we did but not in those times, but for Luhan, I know that I slowly losing him for the past months… I just don’t know when. I don’t only love Luhan or Kris but I also love the other members, so I’ve got mixed of emotions. I wanted them to be intact again and perform as OT12! Those kids worked hard just like Kris and Yifan and these blow by blow controversies was just too much. But I also love Kris and Luhan. Kris had now signed up in a big entertainment industry in China and having 3 movies, 1 OST and different photo shoots in just 6 months of his separation from the group so I know that I will see him on screen when those movies where shown and I know he will be active in entertainment industry. While for Luhan, he only has the Back to 20 which he filmed while he is still an EXO member but after that there’s nothing. I read that he turned down an offer. For now, I guess, he only want’s rest and be with his family, away from entertainment industry. The only thing that gave me hope was the fact that he wanted to be a singer and don’t have interest in their business but he’s the only son so I’m really not sure. We don’t know his plans.

Luhan is a cautious person and quite different from Kris. Kris was bold and so strong that he will do anything he wanted when he want it. He leave the group in a middle of promotions, a week before their first concert. He is the person that will do anything he wanted, wear anything he wanted, cause that’s his life and  won’t let anybody to control him. Luhan in the other hand is cautious. He never revel his family to the public. He never speaks about Kris. He waited for 6 months before leaving because he know that it will be a big mess when he leave right after Kris. He finished their concert tours, their promotions, his movie. Exo don’t have big events for October  and we’re also wondering before what’s their plan for this month and even suspected a comeback. Unlike Kris, that immediately flew to Prague to shoot for his movie, Luhan didn’t do anything yet. He even turned down an offer and stay quite. I wish that when he thinks, it’s already the right time, and he get enough rest and went well, he will have a movie and become active again, be it an actor or a singer. Thinking that he will leave for real and I won’t be seeing him anymore hurts a lot.

102214- Luhan was spotted in a coffee shop for the first time after his lawsuit with SM.

102414- Laogao’s weibo update with LuHan. I miss him. Bless his make up free face! He look’s relax in this pic and happy.



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