Dear My Deer…


Remember you first introduce your self to us? Remember your first stage performance? The first time you sing? The first time you dance? It’s been two years and counting and I still clearly remember those times. The moment you smile and those  creases appear on your eyes, those beautiful eyes that are twinkling in happiness with a little shade of sadness. That  time, you became the apple of my eye. I always look for close ups photos and videos of you just to see those eyes. Until now, I still do, just to see you. But what pained me the most is to see those sparks disappear, little by little, dusted off in vain.

For two years, I witness how many times you changed a color of your hair that I finally stop counting. I saw how many times you changed your fashion clothes.. when you want a sweater, you’ll wear it over and over again, you’ll use a back pack over and over again, same with your bennies and hats, your shirts and pants and we often made fun of you and joke around that you didn’t even wash them off and wear them all over again. I saw how your once chubby cheeks disappear, your thin body got even thinner. I saw you practice day and night and even dance in the rain, went home at 3 am and show up again in 7 am. Did you even have an hour of sleep? I also saw how you travel from korea and china, korea and china and to other parts of the world I only could dream about and I’m wondering when was the last time you sleep on your bed. The wind blows, the snow soaks on the ground and the flowers bloom again, where you able to notice them Lulu? The moon shines bright at night until the dawn came and the sun take over, have you saw them Lulu?

Now, your body has reach it’s limit. Stay back. Rest. Eat. Be Healthy again. Stop  apologizing. We understand. You’ve done so much for those two and a half years and we won’t leave you for taking a rest. I want the Luhan I first saw, I want those eyes with a little bit of sadness but still sparkle beautifully smiling at us. Comeback to us as healthy as you can be. As happy and energetic as you can be. Don’t worry to much. The world won’t leave you. We are still here waiting for you. Catch up with your family and friends. I know how much you missed them… I missed mine too. I also missed the old you, when you’re still a little younger, happy and excited for the world has to offer. Tomorrow, when the sun shines, I will still be here as your fan, and the days after tomorrow. Get well soon baobei!

A fan who wish you well- Angie_Xiaolu


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